Clint Advises - Survival Sex

"C. R. JAHN is an author and safety professional residing in Denver, Colorado. I am a private investigator whose sole focus is missing persons, exclusively representing children." 

He does this pro bono, asking only for donations, and appears to have some involvement in the National Center for Missing Exploited Children.

Amazing guy, right?

There is also this, from his website: "C. R. Jahn is a recognized expert in forensic linguistic analysis, occult theory, and practical self defense who has authored numerous books, been included in several anthologies, and consults as an advisor on various projects."

He "supports legitimate organizations which advocate for, protect, and rescue abused and exploited children. He was a member of the original Rocky Mountain Chapter of Bikers Against Child Abuse and actively assists with investigation and social media outreach for several child protection organizations."

But, as you are about to learn, Mr. Jahn is not all sweetness, light and heroics ..

"Other than that, very little is known about C. R. Jahn...
​...and C. R. Jahn prefers to keep things that way." Oooh eer!

I was unaware of Clint until stumbling across this question on Quora last night, where he offers some spectacular, near specialist advice on how to navigate the sexual economy:

Is it wrong to have sex with a homeless person to whom you are offering shelter?

I'm surprised I only just saw this, I assumed I'd have detected the wafts of Regaine, the creak of brown leather shoes and rattle of testosterone supplements as all the "it's very nuanced, akshully" netizens rushed to find a way to paint this as a reasonable exchange of goods.

So in comes our hero, child rescuer and self defence expert Clint. He appears to have really, really thought very deeply about this, and delivers with some esoteric street knowledge along with important points to mull over. 

The Lingo -

Young people call this 'survival sex' and it's certainly not rare, explains Clint.

Actually, I suppose I should explain; when I say 'young people', what I mean is teenagers. That's who Clint instantly zones in on. Teenagers, a group ranging from child to adult with a massive diversity of gullibility, trust and maturity.

This point is critical, now - using shelter to barter for sex from an otherwise unwilling, homeless, near-child, this is not necessarily exploitation or abuse!

Pros: Work Experience AKA Curriculum Vitae For The Destitute - 

Since you're targeting qualities and experience already over-represented among the homeless, teens are a great subcategory to specialise in. 

From their perspective "if all you need to do is fuck someone once daily for free bed and board in the middle of winter, that seems like a fair deal".

Whether it's naivety or desperation, teenagers often don't realise their worth. This is especially true if they were "offering $20 blowjobs" on the street, or have been repeatedly sexually assaulted, Clint explains.

Essentially, these are the ones you want, as the hard work of grooming or driving their self respect and personal boundaries into the ground has already been done for you. A canny investment. 

Know Your USP - During the winter months, if you play it right, your repulsive desires can be met at a much reduced rate. Remember that, and adjust your offers and requests to get the best results.

It's important that you just be practical, sensible and chill out!

The teen can always decline if they feel it's not a fair exchange. 

That's the beauty of it. 

Less ethically scrupulous advisors may suggest springing this on the kid after they've entered the property, possibly after they just had a shower, once the snow starts, or even after a spate of assaults on the street. 

Clint, however, doesnt even mention that so we know he's a top bloke.

There's no need to make it sound sordid, the service industry forms a pretty substantial part of the economy. Kids can work, can they not?

Cons: It's Not Quite So Simple, Even If It's Ethical -

Sadly, there are more cons than pros, but with the one pro being sexual gratification, you can bet the downsides are trifling and pretty much irrelevant to a certain type of gentleman. 

However, a word of caution before you think this is the answer to your problems: there are issues you should be aware of!

The Homeless Are Yucky - most homeless have body lice, ringworm, at least one strain of hepatitis, various untreated STIs and bad juju. 

(It is at this point, another man pipes in to remind the readers that the homeless are, in fact, people. They can make legal complaints like anyone else!)

The Homeless Are Mad - it's a sad fact that being cast out of society and unsupported as a teen can cause huge damage to a person's mental health. The same goes for sexual abuse. This can create a treacherous bedfellow, increasing the ease of sexual access but simultaneously elevating the risk or inconvenience to you.

It may turn out to be preferable to avoid nutting on your own doorstep - there are lots of schizophrenics amongst the homeless. If you're gonna stick your dick in crazy, be ready to run!

The Homeless Are Bad - most homeless are untrustworthy, thieves, and will play all sorts of tricks to rob you blind.

They're probably drug addicts who will leave your best cutlery tainted with soot, needles lying about and use the last of your kitchen foil. They are liable to make themselves very comfortable and be obstructive where it comes to fulfilling their end of the deal. They are likely waiting to sell your belongings when you pop out to the shops. 

They are often, Clint tells us, pathological liars.

And The Homeless Are Dangerous To Know - often violent, you don't want them knowing where you live! Additionally once your home is known to them, they lay a mental trail and like a homing pigeon, are liable to turn up at any time.

They might move their friends in, or otherwise be annoying, not at all fancy, and embarrassing to introduce to family. Even that very open minded uncle with a holiday home in Phuket and mattress in the back of his van.

Not sounding so sexy now, huh?

Never Show Kindness To A Homeless. They See It As Weakness And Use It Against You.

This is vital.

One of the most unpleasant of pitfalls is the homeless's ability to manipulate you and your feelings. 

This is obviously more worrying when you have had sex with them, Clint highlights, because that advantageous power dynamic that had them in a position of weakness enabling you to exploit them (whoops - yes, he actually did say that) is flipped over, with you, the housed, sexually exploitative, real person, now disempowered. They could be abusive now. 

Pretty much every person who decides to offer a homeless a bed for the night is dragged into a twisted power struggle where your altruistic horniness is weaponized against you. They overstay their welcome, they make you feel bad and every year around five or six people are robbed, raped and killed by a homeless they allowed to stay. That's one person out of every 55.5 million Americans. A shocking statistic.

So, let's give Clint a round of applause, and wish him well with his child protection work!