Refuges
part three:
"I know of many women using the service who are fearful of losing these safe spaces. Wanting to discuss this, and to express our worries does not make us transphobic. It simply means that we want to protect what we fought for. Reasonable discussion and debate, and a recognition of our fears is necessary rather than views being shut down. This is a complex issue, and we need to build understanding on both sides"
Ms Dickie James MBE, Chief Executive, Staffordshire Women's Aid
"I know of many women using the service who are fearful of losing these safe spaces. Wanting to discuss this, and to express our worries does not make us transphobic. It simply means that we want to protect what we fought for. Reasonable discussion and debate, and a recognition of our fears is necessary rather than views being shut down. This is a complex issue, and we need to build understanding on both sides"
Ms Dickie James MBE, Chief Executive, Staffordshire Women's Aid
This is going to be a long and jumbled blog, following on from parts one, the personal story of one of the bloggers here, and two, a broader piece on the responses received to this and similar stories. You can also read about Anna's experience talking online about her time trying to recover after an extremely violent rape, in a refuge with another trans identified sex offender.Starting with the recent outrage with Mridul Wadhwa, I want to share some of the real concerns over trans inclusion in women's crisis services (have now found too many quotes from frightened workers and service users. Please see Refuges, Reassurance of Hostages for more, including the thoroughly dishonest report by Stonewall) along with some real life cases of harassment and abuse of and within these centres. Whatever the 'be kind' lobby claim,
I think it's fair point out trans activists frequently slide into spiteful, misogynistic and sexually abusive threats against women.
As women and as feminists, our fears are not aided by the relentless torrent rhetoric like the tweets below. (visit https://terfisaslur.com/ or see this submission from a student at the London School of Economics https://sex-matters.org/posts/updates/gender-studies-and-sexualised-threats/)
“I have not felt able to speak out because of the repercussions, particularly of funding being withdrawn, the vicious attacks we have seen on services and individuals.
On one level I think ‘I will not be silenced’. But on the other I know that the people who would suffer are the victims of sexual violence.”
Professional in the women's refuge sector
"It is very misleading of Stonewall to claim that their report reflects the views of the Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) sector, when most organisations did not take part"
Professional
~
Let's start with Mridul Wadhwa and Rape Crisis Scotland;
Mridul Wadhwa
Wadhwa has been open about lying about their sex when applying for the women-only position at Rape Crisis Scotland.
After the decades long harassment of Vancouver Rape Relief Centre, unhinged TRA Laura Izagguire wrote "Resisting TERFs", a manifesto on how infiltrating these centres to change them from the inside was all 'cis' allies' responsibility. Maybe Wadhwa was the inspiration?
Wadhwa does not have a GRC (gender recognition certificate) and their level of transition is unknown. Wadhwa's behaviour has previously caused outrage, and there is even more cause for concern you can read about here.
On the Guilty Feminist Podcast Wadhwa says
"...sexual violence happens to bigoted people as well...but if you bring unacceptable beliefs...please expect to be challenged on your prejudices..." Clip available here.
Apparently, taking issue with Wadhwa's placement and words is attacking the centre. While reasonable people might take issue with women being told by a male who withheld his legally male status (while applying for a job aimed at women only) speaking about how rape victims will be made to 'reframe' their trauma to not exclude other males this is intolerable to trans activists who have been silent over the closure of Rise and Monklands and the sustained abuse against VRRC (More on that below).
Wadhwa has previously brought up the rape orgasm trope, without invitation. We can see already from tweets sent that evening that women are self excluding:
Joan McAlpine accuses Mridul of laughing at women discussing violence:
Interestingly, RCS (Rape Crisis Scotland) have stood strong and accused angry, hurt women of abuse. However, among even the small selection of 'abusive' messages predate this latest controversy to one several months ago where they campaigned against the right of rape victims to choose the sex of their examiner in the immediate aftermath of their attack. I suggest that anger over this removal of a woman's most basic dignity, at the worst moment of her life, is entirely understandable.
(Wadhwa yesterday (14th September 2021) held an online meeting over how difficult it is to keep the women's refuge sector truly trans inclusive. You can read about that here and here)
Joan McAlpine accuses Mridul of laughing at women discussing violence:
Interestingly, RCS (Rape Crisis Scotland) have stood strong and accused angry, hurt women of abuse. However, among even the small selection of 'abusive' messages predate this latest controversy to one several months ago where they campaigned against the right of rape victims to choose the sex of their examiner in the immediate aftermath of their attack. I suggest that anger over this removal of a woman's most basic dignity, at the worst moment of her life, is entirely understandable.
(Wadhwa yesterday (14th September 2021) held an online meeting over how difficult it is to keep the women's refuge sector truly trans inclusive. You can read about that here and here)
Wadhwa recently spoke of how he frequently reported 'hate' to the police countless time - which is what Nicola is speaking of here;
"I’m sorry to break it to you, and this may come as a shock to some, but no matter how much you agree that ‘trans women are women’ a survivor of domestic abuse and sexual violence may never see that trans woman as a woman.
Are we really honestly asking, telling and prescribing to survivors that they now have to see a trans woman as a woman? Are we actually telling them to swallow their fears, their flash backs and their trauma in order to accommodate an ideology they don’t agree with whilst simultaneously calling them transphobic? Anonymous worker in a refuge
~~~
To hear some of the counter-narrative, from actual service users and professionals, I would start with;
🔗For Women Scotland - The real crisis at Rape Crisis Scotland and https://forwomen.scot/11/08/2021/scottish-womens-aid-have-failed-the-womens-aid-network/#more-4978
🔗 For Women Scotland
🔗 Shonagh Dillon A Scottish sister speaks
🔗 Why do we keep banging on about the importance of single spaces for survivors of male violence?
"Stonewall ... chose to deliberately leave out responses about concerns over women’s physical and mental safety with having trans identifying males in places like women’s refuges.
Stonewall have ‘cherry picked’ from the response they gave and have purposefully chosen to leave out any quotes expressing concerns about women’s safety"
Anon
🔗 Karen Ingala Smith "The importance of women only spaces and services for women and girls who’ve been subjected to men’s violence"
🔗Women & Girls Scotland on Twitter
"In my view, the Stonewall report is at best disingenuous. At worst it’s a tool for ‘gaslighting’ their supporters, the public and policy makers into believing that those horrible feminist women disagreeing with them are wrongly misrepresenting female survivors of male violence"
What do the refuge sector professionals really think?
It's impossible to know in this climate. We know Stonewall produced a study claiming widespread support of catering to trans people. However, the threat of speaking out is clear - VRRC (Vancouver Rape Relief Centre) was a model of aggressive trans activism that has set the tone.
So, throughout I will be sharing statements from professionals within the women's sector, from a document produced by Fair Play for Women, who do incredible work.
But first, please familiarise yourself with some of the major concerns within the sector when it comes to trans inclusion and trans activists and their organisations:
FPfW:
"Our whistleblowers reported widespread silencing of any and all discussion about self-identification policies and reform of the Gender Recognition Act that affect the provision of services for victims of
violence and abuse:
Professionals feared – or had directly observed or experienced:
⚠️ Targeted campaigns of harassment against individuals aggressively trying to intimidate women expressng doubts about self-ID policies.
This includes people losing jobs and organisations losing funding.
⚠️ Women merely asking questions about sex self-ID or GRA reform are labelled ‘TERFS’ and subject to threats of harm, death and sexual violence.
⚠️ Organisations and activists involved in lobbying for trans-inclusive policies, or even advising and training organisations supporting vulnerable women, have suggested that violence against so-called ‘TERFS’ is justified. Government, LGBT and women’s organisations alike have failed to condemn this.
⚠️ Several organisations did not take part in recent Stonewall research on this topic because they were too frightened to speak openly, or because they did not trust their views would be properly reflected by Stonewall.
They were clear that:
⚠️ If a refuge chooses or is pressured to adopt a self-ID policy (thus does not use the sex exemptions which the Equality Act allows for) this means any fully intact male will be allowed to use the service simply because he says he is a woman. Contrary to public perception the overwhelming majority of male-born transgender people retain their penis and are fully male-bodied.
⚠️ The potential threat to the physical and emotional safety of the women using their services came from biological males. There is no evidence to show that risk changes when a man says he is a woman. (Transsexual individuals were at increased risk of being convicted for any crime or violent crime after sex reassignment)
⚠️ Professionals and service-users wished to be able to exclude individuals on the basis of their biological sex rather than on the basis of their proclaimed gender identity.
⚠️ Professionals said that existing systems for assessing the risk posed to users and staff by a potential new service-user are already limited and imperfect. Allowing anyone who identifies themselves as a woman – and preventing any questioning of that identification – to access ‘women-only’ services will render those safeguards wholly ineffective.
⚠️ It is naïve and wrong to assume risk assessments can identify abusive men. It is simply impossible to tell someone’s intentions. Many abusers are extremely skilled at deception.
⚠️ Male perpetrators of violence will go to any lengths to gain access to vulnerable women and children. This fact is not adequately recognised in public policy debate over this issue.
⚠️ Over-the-phone assessments done at weekends or in the night are of necessity basic. Some refuges assess post-arrival.
~
If you were to listen to trans activists, you would be surprised by this. They ceaselessly claim "transwomen have been accessing these places for decades, without incident" and "refuges have thorough screening processes and are specialists at filtering out predators". You may be told that refuges and shelters are only more than happy to welcome transwomen; that transwomen are often a central part of the volunteer force and no concerns about trans identified males accessing these places have emerged. They are lying.
Let's see some more rhetoric, shall we?
And yet...
Rise, a domestic violence charity which was a pioneer in catering to trans people has lost its funding of £5000,0000 annually from Brighton council, as have Monklands, a shelter in Scotland. Why? Because their shelters are female only. Janice Turner explains here. One of the biggest changes in recent years has been the introduction of self identification. While this is not the law, and refuges do have the right to make use of the Equality Act to exclude any and all males, in practice it has crept into policy and any resistance is strongly vilified.
🔗 Allowing criminals to self id puts women at risk
"Above all, what stopped me from speaking out before I retired were the consequences for the women and children in our refuges. The threat of loss of contracts, time spent fighting legal challenges – they are the ones impacted. It is just another fight that we don’t need. We are fighting every day to keep our services open anyway, and to keep women and children alive. I’m not frightened of abusive men, and I’m not frightened of what people say about me – but I do care about vulnerable women and children." A professional in the women's refuge sector
(more trans activist lies...)
Survivors speaking on the importance of female only recovery spaces
Written by FOVAS (Female-Only, Violence and Abuse Survivors) at WordPress
Open letter to UK Women’s Organisations
"We are women survivors of systemic male violence in all its forms. As you probably know, 98% of sexual offences and 80% of violent crimes are committed by males against females and not the reverse.
We have suffered every kind of horror inflicted on our bodies and minds. For many of us, we are battling every day with trauma symptoms. Speaking out is not easy for us and we respectfully ask that you listen.
We do not feel safe and mounting evidence shows we are not safe. 80-95% of men who identify as women retain their penises. They also commit crimes at the same rate as other men"
Julie Bindel at Unherd How Transgender Turf Wars Put Lives in Danger
“I personally have to be very careful about what I say in public for fear it could
affect the organisation I work for and my job there.”
A professional in the women's refuge sector
🔗 DeadWildRoses:
The violence and misogyny - Trans activism targeting abuse and threats to the staff of Vancouver's rape relief women's centre
Character References;
Here are some real life cases for you to ponder on;
Sarah Brown is a transwoman and Liberal Democrat who, with two others who they are in a polygamous relationship with, harassed a woman who had been a victim of domestic violence and had, having used a refuge in the past, stated she thought they should be female only. This included sustained online and in person abuse and vexatious complaints to the party. The victim of the campaign is now suing the party over their response to the accusations.
-------
Melissa Addis was known as Mark when sentenced for violence and threats to kill his former partner and their baby. After serving several months in prison, Mark 'became' Melissa, was released and used a women's hostel.
---------
Katie Dolotowski Took photographs of a 12 yr old girl while she was using the toilet in a supermarket. The next day Dolotowski followed a 10 year old into the toilets of a different store, forced the door open behind her and sexually assaulted her at knifepoint, threatening to kill her and her mother if she screamed. Was ordered to be released into a women's bail hostel.Following,he spent 71 days in a women's refuge.
“Those of us that still exist are all too aware that we are only one contract-cycle away from forced closure on the grounds of loss of funding.
As CEO, I have been reminded by commissioners of the inequality of our relationship on several occasions, from a robust challenge to a local authority attempt to escape their responsibility to house a vulnerable woman, to nia’s refusal to be deflected from prioritising women.
I am disappointed but not surprised, and indeed completely understand, why many representatives of women’s organisations are afraid to
speak out.”
A professional in the women's refuge sector
🇨🇦Canada🇨🇦
Gender ideology has taken off in a big way in Canada. There are endless stories of men identifying as transwomen and abusing actual women in shelters, hostels, prisons and hospitals etc.
Jessica Hambrook Was a prolific sexual offender who lied about being trans to enter a women's refuge and then set about raping and sexually harassing women and children
------
two women kicked out of shelter over concerns about trans identified male
----------
“I am just here because I am hiding from the police,” said a longterm women’s shelter resident, who did not want his name used. “I just put on a skirt and paint my nails and walk in and they can’t say anything to me.”
Shelter sues Anchorage again to keep transgender males from sleeping with abused women
“Downtown Hope Center serves everyone, and its overnight women’s shelter exists to provide a safe place for women, many of whom have suffered due to sex trafficking, rape, or domestic violence at the hands of men”
"The man, who claimed to be a woman, showed up at the shelter wearing a pink women’s night gown. He later filed a complaint with the city’s Equal Rights Commission, claiming that the women’s shelter refused to let him spend the night. The city then opted to pursue the complaint against the Hope Center."
This spurred the lawsuit. The city ultimately dropped its complaint and was forced to pay the shelter $100,000 for legal fees.
Since that loss in federal court, the Anchorage Assembly amended the city ordinance last month in an attempt to find new ways to force the Hope Center into letting gender confused males sleep next to women who have been abused.
Tyler Porter of...*checks notes* Vancouver, photographs himself in the mirror of a communal bathroom at SisterSpace, a women's refuge...
Despite posting all the above on his publicly accessible Facebook page, SisterSpace still defended and denied what was clearly evident
Vancouver rape relief centre is the oldest rape crisis centre in Canada. They accept only women, and will refer trans people onto other services. They were harassed for years by vexatious litigant Kimberley Nixon, who fought through the courts to be able to do voluntary counselling for victims. Once the campaign by Nixon eventually died down, new tactics emerged:
Transwoman and nasty male politician Morgane Oger took up the baton, and campaigned to have the state funding given to the shelter removed. After this was successfully completed, Oger gleefully informs the public that the only single sex rape crisis centre in the state has been defunded
"I’m sorry to break it to you, and this may come as a shock to some, but no matter how much you agree that ‘trans women are women’ a survivor of domestic abuse and sexual violence may never see that trans woman as a woman.
Are we really honestly asking, telling and prescribing to survivors that they now have to see a trans woman as a woman? Are we actually telling them to swallow their fears, their flash backs and their trauma in order to accommodate an ideology they don’t agree with whilst simultaneously calling them transphobic? Anonymous worker in a refuge
~~~
To hear some of the counter-narrative, from actual service users and professionals, I would start with;
🔗For Women Scotland - The real crisis at Rape Crisis Scotland and https://forwomen.scot/11/08/2021/scottish-womens-aid-have-failed-the-womens-aid-network/#more-4978
🔗 For Women Scotland
🔗 Shonagh Dillon A Scottish sister speaks
🔗 Why do we keep banging on about the importance of single spaces for survivors of male violence?
"Stonewall ... chose to deliberately leave out responses about concerns over women’s physical and mental safety with having trans identifying males in places like women’s refuges.
Stonewall have ‘cherry picked’ from the response they gave and have purposefully chosen to leave out any quotes expressing concerns about women’s safety"
Anon
🔗 Karen Ingala Smith "The importance of women only spaces and services for women and girls who’ve been subjected to men’s violence"
🔗Women & Girls Scotland on Twitter
"In my view, the Stonewall report is at best disingenuous. At worst it’s a tool for ‘gaslighting’ their supporters, the public and policy makers into believing that those horrible feminist women disagreeing with them are wrongly misrepresenting female survivors of male violence"
What do the refuge sector professionals really think?
It's impossible to know in this climate. We know Stonewall produced a study claiming widespread support of catering to trans people. However, the threat of speaking out is clear - VRRC (Vancouver Rape Relief Centre) was a model of aggressive trans activism that has set the tone.
So, throughout I will be sharing statements from professionals within the women's sector, from a document produced by Fair Play for Women, who do incredible work.
But first, please familiarise yourself with some of the major concerns within the sector when it comes to trans inclusion and trans activists and their organisations:
FPfW:
"Our whistleblowers reported widespread silencing of any and all discussion about self-identification policies and reform of the Gender Recognition Act that affect the provision of services for victims of
violence and abuse:
Professionals feared – or had directly observed or experienced:
⚠️ Targeted campaigns of harassment against individuals aggressively trying to intimidate women expressng doubts about self-ID policies.
This includes people losing jobs and organisations losing funding.
⚠️ Women merely asking questions about sex self-ID or GRA reform are labelled ‘TERFS’ and subject to threats of harm, death and sexual violence.
⚠️ Organisations and activists involved in lobbying for trans-inclusive policies, or even advising and training organisations supporting vulnerable women, have suggested that violence against so-called ‘TERFS’ is justified. Government, LGBT and women’s organisations alike have failed to condemn this.
⚠️ Several organisations did not take part in recent Stonewall research on this topic because they were too frightened to speak openly, or because they did not trust their views would be properly reflected by Stonewall.
They were clear that:
⚠️ If a refuge chooses or is pressured to adopt a self-ID policy (thus does not use the sex exemptions which the Equality Act allows for) this means any fully intact male will be allowed to use the service simply because he says he is a woman. Contrary to public perception the overwhelming majority of male-born transgender people retain their penis and are fully male-bodied.
⚠️ The potential threat to the physical and emotional safety of the women using their services came from biological males. There is no evidence to show that risk changes when a man says he is a woman. (Transsexual individuals were at increased risk of being convicted for any crime or violent crime after sex reassignment)
⚠️ Professionals and service-users wished to be able to exclude individuals on the basis of their biological sex rather than on the basis of their proclaimed gender identity.
⚠️ Professionals said that existing systems for assessing the risk posed to users and staff by a potential new service-user are already limited and imperfect. Allowing anyone who identifies themselves as a woman – and preventing any questioning of that identification – to access ‘women-only’ services will render those safeguards wholly ineffective.
⚠️ It is naïve and wrong to assume risk assessments can identify abusive men. It is simply impossible to tell someone’s intentions. Many abusers are extremely skilled at deception.
⚠️ Male perpetrators of violence will go to any lengths to gain access to vulnerable women and children. This fact is not adequately recognised in public policy debate over this issue.
⚠️ Over-the-phone assessments done at weekends or in the night are of necessity basic. Some refuges assess post-arrival.
~
If you were to listen to trans activists, you would be surprised by this. They ceaselessly claim "transwomen have been accessing these places for decades, without incident" and "refuges have thorough screening processes and are specialists at filtering out predators". You may be told that refuges and shelters are only more than happy to welcome transwomen; that transwomen are often a central part of the volunteer force and no concerns about trans identified males accessing these places have emerged. They are lying.
Let's see some more rhetoric, shall we?
And yet...
Rise, a domestic violence charity which was a pioneer in catering to trans people has lost its funding of £5000,0000 annually from Brighton council, as have Monklands, a shelter in Scotland. Why? Because their shelters are female only. Janice Turner explains here. One of the biggest changes in recent years has been the introduction of self identification. While this is not the law, and refuges do have the right to make use of the Equality Act to exclude any and all males, in practice it has crept into policy and any resistance is strongly vilified.
🔗 Allowing criminals to self id puts women at risk
"Above all, what stopped me from speaking out before I retired were the consequences for the women and children in our refuges. The threat of loss of contracts, time spent fighting legal challenges – they are the ones impacted. It is just another fight that we don’t need. We are fighting every day to keep our services open anyway, and to keep women and children alive. I’m not frightened of abusive men, and I’m not frightened of what people say about me – but I do care about vulnerable women and children." A professional in the women's refuge sector
(more trans activist lies...)
Survivors speaking on the importance of female only recovery spaces
Written by FOVAS (Female-Only, Violence and Abuse Survivors) at WordPress
Open letter to UK Women’s Organisations
"We are women survivors of systemic male violence in all its forms. As you probably know, 98% of sexual offences and 80% of violent crimes are committed by males against females and not the reverse.
We have suffered every kind of horror inflicted on our bodies and minds. For many of us, we are battling every day with trauma symptoms. Speaking out is not easy for us and we respectfully ask that you listen.
We do not feel safe and mounting evidence shows we are not safe. 80-95% of men who identify as women retain their penises. They also commit crimes at the same rate as other men"
Julie Bindel at Unherd How Transgender Turf Wars Put Lives in Danger
“I personally have to be very careful about what I say in public for fear it could
affect the organisation I work for and my job there.”
A professional in the women's refuge sector
🔗 DeadWildRoses:
The violence and misogyny - Trans activism targeting abuse and threats to the staff of Vancouver's rape relief women's centre
Character References;
Here are some real life cases for you to ponder on;
Sarah Brown is a transwoman and Liberal Democrat who, with two others who they are in a polygamous relationship with, harassed a woman who had been a victim of domestic violence and had, having used a refuge in the past, stated she thought they should be female only. This included sustained online and in person abuse and vexatious complaints to the party. The victim of the campaign is now suing the party over their response to the accusations.
-------
Melissa Addis was known as Mark when sentenced for violence and threats to kill his former partner and their baby. After serving several months in prison, Mark 'became' Melissa, was released and used a women's hostel.
---------
Katie Dolotowski Took photographs of a 12 yr old girl while she was using the toilet in a supermarket. The next day Dolotowski followed a 10 year old into the toilets of a different store, forced the door open behind her and sexually assaulted her at knifepoint, threatening to kill her and her mother if she screamed. Was ordered to be released into a women's bail hostel.Following,he spent 71 days in a women's refuge.
“Those of us that still exist are all too aware that we are only one contract-cycle away from forced closure on the grounds of loss of funding.
As CEO, I have been reminded by commissioners of the inequality of our relationship on several occasions, from a robust challenge to a local authority attempt to escape their responsibility to house a vulnerable woman, to nia’s refusal to be deflected from prioritising women.
I am disappointed but not surprised, and indeed completely understand, why many representatives of women’s organisations are afraid to
speak out.”
A professional in the women's refuge sector
🇨🇦Canada🇨🇦
Gender ideology has taken off in a big way in Canada. There are endless stories of men identifying as transwomen and abusing actual women in shelters, hostels, prisons and hospitals etc.
Jessica Hambrook Was a prolific sexual offender who lied about being trans to enter a women's refuge and then set about raping and sexually harassing women and children
------
two women kicked out of shelter over concerns about trans identified male
----------
“I am just here because I am hiding from the police,” said a longterm women’s shelter resident, who did not want his name used. “I just put on a skirt and paint my nails and walk in and they can’t say anything to me.”
Shelter sues Anchorage again to keep transgender males from sleeping with abused women
“Downtown Hope Center serves everyone, and its overnight women’s shelter exists to provide a safe place for women, many of whom have suffered due to sex trafficking, rape, or domestic violence at the hands of men”
"The man, who claimed to be a woman, showed up at the shelter wearing a pink women’s night gown. He later filed a complaint with the city’s Equal Rights Commission, claiming that the women’s shelter refused to let him spend the night. The city then opted to pursue the complaint against the Hope Center."
This spurred the lawsuit. The city ultimately dropped its complaint and was forced to pay the shelter $100,000 for legal fees.
Since that loss in federal court, the Anchorage Assembly amended the city ordinance last month in an attempt to find new ways to force the Hope Center into letting gender confused males sleep next to women who have been abused.
Tyler Porter of...*checks notes* Vancouver, photographs himself in the mirror of a communal bathroom at SisterSpace, a women's refuge...
Despite posting all the above on his publicly accessible Facebook page, SisterSpace still defended and denied what was clearly evident
Vancouver rape relief centre is the oldest rape crisis centre in Canada. They accept only women, and will refer trans people onto other services. They were harassed for years by vexatious litigant Kimberley Nixon, who fought through the courts to be able to do voluntary counselling for victims. Once the campaign by Nixon eventually died down, new tactics emerged:
Transwoman and nasty male politician Morgane Oger took up the baton, and campaigned to have the state funding given to the shelter removed. After this was successfully completed, Oger gleefully informs the public that the only single sex rape crisis centre in the state has been defunded
You can see them on Twitter here as they detail vandalism and threats they have suffered. It was in relation to VRRC Laura Izagguire wrote the blog linked to above. In addition, even fundraisers set up to support VRRC have been taken down after relentless complaints by anti-woman activists.
Essentially, the women who wave away the concerns of those of us who believe that refuges must be single sex are rarely those who have actually ever needed them. It's a rare thing, fortunately, but while they frequently cite being survivors of abuse and may say they do understand how refuges operate, this normally falls apart on closer inspection.
Mantras replace conversation. Because trans women are women. Because ALL WOMEN need these spaces.
Often floated is the justification they themselves are survivors of male violence. But there is a profound difference between being sexually assaulted, and having been caught in a relentless cycle of abuse at the hands of men.
Behaviours are adapted to respond to threats. Apologies made for every potential, slight error. Victims learn to laugh at insults, back away from any potential drama, demean themselves, to freeze when the natural reaction would be fight or flight.
These then function as behaviours for abusers to target in prospective victims. The cycle can continue til death.
To unlearn these, to learn self respect, how to enforce boundaries without apology, takes a lot of time.
Refuges have to turn most women away. They are stretched to breaking. The idea that they get to screen for personal qualities and select only the most personable is categorically insane. Women who are deeply traumatised, desperate, and incredibly vulnerable; who have been severely damaged by years of violence and abuse; who have no friends or family willing or able to step in and offer a place to stay; deserve far better.
While trans activists attack those who have been through this, and castigate women for expressing their thoughts on a 'lived experience' only they have known, they may think they are on 'the right side of history'. It's difficult to know how much is self presevation in this climate: defending their own social standing by dismissing, ridiculing and vilifying women when they dare crack the illusion that refuges are able to manage these competing rights.
The idea that women who've developed a gut-level response to men and male voices, mannerisms etc, are able to 'rise above it' by reminding themselves the transwoman next to them is, in some metaphysical way, a woman.
I strongly reject this as an example of nothing but the daydreams of idiots, misogynists and cowards.
Women built these shelters on their own. They fought hard, worked incredible, unpaid hours, fundraised, campaigned and did so with immense love. It's certainly time trans people did the same.
This is a tiny fraction of the misrepresentation, ideological certainty and apathy for women's rights, dignity and safety we are up against;
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